Antonio Cromartie is a s*%! talking mother f@&%$#r!

(image courtesy of FTRsports.com)

The Jets sure know how to stir up a shit storm, don't they? We've got Braylon Edwards driving around twice as drunk as he's legally entitled. Rex Ryan is off in a corner sucking on innocent women's toes. And Antonio Cromartie is just running his mouth all over the place.

First of all, you guys make a ton of money. Why are you driving around drunk? It's not like you can't afford a cab ride home. Dumbass.

Rex, oh Rex. To each their own.

New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie has had some choice words on his opponents and some union officials over the past couple of weeks. After publicly titling New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady 'an asshole,' amongst other things, he is back at it. This time firing at the heads of NFL and 

the labor union that is supposed to protect the players.

Apparently they need to 'get their damn minds' and 'their shit together.'

Granted, the interviewer did start inquiring about Cromartie's opinion on the labor talks immediately following their embarassing loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday. I think it is safe to say that one wouldn't necessarily convey the right emotion while slamming locker doors during an interview.

While I know Rex Ryan couldn't care less about Cromartie's word vomit problem, we'll see what the league has to say about his commentary.

Super Bowl XLV

So, The Jets choked once again. They just really couldn't pull it together at all. I could have walked away from the game entirely after realizing that the Steelers had possession of the ball for the first nine or ten minutes of the game. By halftime the game was pretty much over. The Jets tried to rally in the second half, but couldn't cut the mustard, ending the game at a 24-19 loss.

I think Rex Ryan just put a foot in his mouth somewhere.

With that, I am no longer truly excited about either team winning the game, but I am truly excited about coming up with my Super Bowl party menu! What is a Super Bowl without gorging yourself with some of the most unhealthy goodies and lots and lots of beer?

Here's what my household has to look forward to:

• Chicken wings with Frank's hot sauce. It really is the best. I learned that from dad.
• Chipotle pot roast enchiladas. Complete with home made enchilada sauce.
• Black beans.
• Beef franks in blankets. Because pork has been recently outlawed in my social circle.
• Blueberry dump cake. If you really want to know, just ask. It's to die for, and takes 15 minutes to make. Even my brother could make this cake.
• Beer. American micro brews to be exact.
• Mimosas. Because champagne makes for good day time drinking.
• Hummus and veggies. Because you have to have something redeeming on the table.

Good luck to the teams that prevailed in today's games, and I will see you on the couch! Don't forget the wet naps.

The FIFA World Cup.

I forgot to tell you all about how I spent the FIFA World Cup.

Drunk with my best friend from South Africa. It was awesome. There aren't many things that are more awesome than drinking Stella and eating chocolate cake that I decorated like a South African flag at 7am.

Photographic evidence of my fuzzy memories of spending the World Cup with someone who legitimately calls soccer 'football.'

Papelbon & Ellsbury keep their red socks.

Apparently it only takes $12M to keep one of the most colorful pitchers in baseball on your roster. The Boston Red Sox signed a one year deal with pitcher Jonathan Papelbon, who is somewhat famous for letting his dog eat the ball that brought home the 2007 World Series win for the Sox. He can now be famous for receiving the highest paying one year contract for an arbitration eligible pitcher, and the fourth highest overall. While Papelbon had his crappiest season yet at Fenway, word has it that he has been throwing balls around in dog parks, and is looking to bring a stronger arm to the 2011 season.

Center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury also signed a one year deal, but he goes for a lot less at a mere $2.4M. That and he hasn't done anything stupid enough for me to make a joke about yet.

OH YEAHHHH.

Denver Broncos running back Laurence Maroney was arrested last night on drug and weapon allegations. While his publicist did confirm that he was one of five people arrested after being pulled over outside of St. Louis, she insists that he did nothing wrong. Then she admitted that he was in posession of a firearm. I'm not sure what the gun laws are in Missouri, but when five people are arrested on gun charges, and one of them is your client, he did something wrong. Just sayin'.

A police spokeswoman later confirmed that all five passengers in the vehicle were in posession of marijuna and were all taken into custody. There was also a .45 handgun, 9 mm pistol and .223 calibur rifle found in the vehicle. Holy shit, they must have been on their way back from a hunting trip!

Maroney might be joining a decent list of criminals the Broncos have been harboring lately.

And he is really wearing a blinged out Kool-Aid man around his neck. Oh yeah.

Back on the field.

Holy shit, where have I been? Really?

It has been quite some time, and the time has brought upon some great changes in my life. Now that those things are settling themselves into some sort of regular order, I plan on reconnecting with you out there. Yeah, you. The one reading this right now. I've missed you.

So, while I haven't been sharing my point of view on the wild world of sports, I certainly still have one.

Let's start with football. My Jets are back in the playoffs, and really looking like properly assembled squad. Taking out the Patriots was a huge feat, but in the end it was all about who could get their tight pants in order and complete the task. Tom Brady just couldn't hold it together. Not that it really matters. He's still married to a super model and making $50M a year. Holler.

Spring training starts in a few short weeks, so I will surely be making my trek out to Camelback Ranch for some hot sun, cold beer, and hot guys in baseball gear. Screw Christmas, my holidays are coming up this spring.