The Mugshot Files: Harvard Edition

It's been a while since I've seen a mugshot that makes me LLOL (literally laugh out loud, for those of you who haven't heard that yet).

The Oakland Raiders should be proud of their defensive tackle, Desmond Bryant, and his ability to cheer up a crowd. Of course, only after drinking far too much and stumbling into his neighbor's house to be an asshole.

I guess that Harvard education taught him that if he can't make the headlines by being in the Super Bowl, just go viral on the internet. All you need to do is get uber drunk and take a miserable, shirtless selfie. And then send a thank you note to Mark Zuckerberg.

(image courtesy of Yardbarker.com)

Let's talk about football.

With the close of the NFL season comes a good party, tons of calories, and another week closer to baseball season.

I will be honest in saying that I paid much more attention to football this year than last. Although the Jets struggled to barely make it through their regular season games, I found some fun in post-season football without them. With New York out of the running, I paired up with some of my Seattle mates to watch the Seahawks. The games were neck and neck. Full on nail biters. Right until the heartbreaking end.

From there, I had to turn south. To San Francisco. The 49ers fought their way through some tough teams. First, they tore through Green Bay. For me, it was like watching my first live football game all over again (see post in years past regarding my first game, many, many moons ago). Only this time, they took the win. I still think there was a lot of luck involved.

Next, they took on the Atlanta Falcons. Watching the first quarter of this game was pretty abysmal. From the way they were playing, there was no way they were going to make it past these birds. Somehow, they managed to recover, and the game remained tight until the last couple of minutes. I wasn't even sure they had the win at the 2:00 warning.

But they did.

And then I got to thinking. How much of this is rigged? How badly did the NFL want to see the Harbaugh brothers battle it out against each other? What a great marketing tool! What a great story for the books! I'm sure their parents are so proud! Which one will root for which team?

I'll be honest, I think the Ravens fought the good fight to earn their place in Super Bowl XLVII. But I really thought the game was going to be bird on bird. A fight for the south and the east. As much as the 49ers played hard, they made critical mistakes that were magically erased by many strokes of good luck in the divisional and conference games.

That being said, I'm turning my back on my third-string team and rooting for the Baltimore Ravens next Sunday. I look good in purple anyway.

So, let's play ball...and figure out the menu....may the best team win.

Post-Superbowl blues.

So, football season has come and gone, leaving our Sundays wide open for activities that don't involve staying in pajamas all day, eating greasy food, and drinking beer at 10am. I might get back on the hill and do some canyon hikes, get some sunshine, or maybe I'll just sleep all day. Regardless, I have a few things that take me through basketball season into my favorite time of year: baseball season.

We all saw the atrocity that was the Super Bowl halftime show. Wow. Aside from following some of the greatest acts ever, like Prince, Tom Petty, The Boss, and...Prince, the Black Eyed Peas had their work cut out for them. 150,000 rednecks don't really care about pop songs performed by two black men, a recovering crack addict, and the token asian friend dressed in sparkly space suits. I think Axl Rose cut himself somewhere when Fergie attempted to duplicate his...accent...if you can call it that.

Anyway, let's congratulate the Green Bay Packers on their big win. Supposedly over half of Green Bay went to Lambeau Field to party. Sadly, their stadium can actually fit half of the city. Maybe more than half. Oh, Wisconsin...

Basketball isn't proving to be very exciting this year either. We have Boston leading the Eastern conference (shocker), and the Lakers barely trailing the Spurs in the West. In good news, the Lakers might be on their last leg of championship games knowing that their beloved coach is leaving the team to go swim in his vault of purple and gold coins for all of eternity.

While that is boring me to tears, I find more enjoyment in music. Some of my top songs to get me through the next few weeks are...

1. Everest - Let Go
2. The Decemberists - The Calamity Song
3. We Are Scientists - After Hours
4. Neon Trees - 1983
5. Nicki Minaj - Fly
6. One Republic - All the Right Moves
7. Marina & The Diamonds - Hollywood
8. Adele - Rollin' in the Deep
9. Michael Lowman - In My Own Words
10. LCD Soundsystem - Drunk Girls
11. The Radio Dept. - Heaven's On Fire
12. Lucy Schwartz - Take a Picture
13. In This Moment - Iron Army
14. Blindside - Pitiful
15. Carina Round - Do You

Let those wet your earholes for a few days. You won't be disappointed.

The Steelers know how to party!

(photo courtesy of NYdailynews.com)

So, it's super bowl week and your team just landed in Dallas in preparation for the big game. Training is probably a good idea. Followed by some good rest. Maybe even a quick break to call your wife. 

NAHHHHHHHHHH....

According to Dallas news reporter Gromer Jeffers Jr. (who was also obviously at the strip club), Pittsburgh Steelers players Hinds Ward, Ike Taylor, and some other black and yellow sporting comrades spent their first night in town at a gentleman's club on Northwest Highway in Dallas (I don't really know Dallas, so if you know where they might have been, I would like that piece of knowledge). 

The players spent most of their evening in the VIP, but then moved to the front row for some shows before hopping on the stage themselves! They undress in a room full of men several times a week, so this comes at little surprise to me. Witnesses in the club report that the players were having a killer time and drinking Moet straight from the bottle. 

Holler!

It's going to be awfully difficult to play professional football in front 106 million viewers with a hangover. I'm okay with that.

Super Bowl XLV

So, The Jets choked once again. They just really couldn't pull it together at all. I could have walked away from the game entirely after realizing that the Steelers had possession of the ball for the first nine or ten minutes of the game. By halftime the game was pretty much over. The Jets tried to rally in the second half, but couldn't cut the mustard, ending the game at a 24-19 loss.

I think Rex Ryan just put a foot in his mouth somewhere.

With that, I am no longer truly excited about either team winning the game, but I am truly excited about coming up with my Super Bowl party menu! What is a Super Bowl without gorging yourself with some of the most unhealthy goodies and lots and lots of beer?

Here's what my household has to look forward to:

• Chicken wings with Frank's hot sauce. It really is the best. I learned that from dad.
• Chipotle pot roast enchiladas. Complete with home made enchilada sauce.
• Black beans.
• Beef franks in blankets. Because pork has been recently outlawed in my social circle.
• Blueberry dump cake. If you really want to know, just ask. It's to die for, and takes 15 minutes to make. Even my brother could make this cake.
• Beer. American micro brews to be exact.
• Mimosas. Because champagne makes for good day time drinking.
• Hummus and veggies. Because you have to have something redeeming on the table.

Good luck to the teams that prevailed in today's games, and I will see you on the couch! Don't forget the wet naps.

Back on the field.

Holy shit, where have I been? Really?

It has been quite some time, and the time has brought upon some great changes in my life. Now that those things are settling themselves into some sort of regular order, I plan on reconnecting with you out there. Yeah, you. The one reading this right now. I've missed you.

So, while I haven't been sharing my point of view on the wild world of sports, I certainly still have one.

Let's start with football. My Jets are back in the playoffs, and really looking like properly assembled squad. Taking out the Patriots was a huge feat, but in the end it was all about who could get their tight pants in order and complete the task. Tom Brady just couldn't hold it together. Not that it really matters. He's still married to a super model and making $50M a year. Holler.

Spring training starts in a few short weeks, so I will surely be making my trek out to Camelback Ranch for some hot sun, cold beer, and hot guys in baseball gear. Screw Christmas, my holidays are coming up this spring.

And...the commercials!!

I found most of the advertisements this year to be pretty mediocre. I mean, they were funny. They just weren't Super Bowl status. Except for this Bud Light commercial (sorry to my Miller team!). This had me in a fit of tears. There's a really great inside joke amongst my friends in regards to white people and autotune, so this just really takes the cake for me.

A surprising Super Bowl finish.

I've spent most of the day thinking about my obligatory post-Super Bowl update, and I'm still drawing a blank. Sure, I was rooting for the Saints. I think most of us were rooting for the underdog while secretly thinking we were going to watch Peyton Manning unleash pure annihilation on Drew Brees and his crew.

As the Saints were unable to convert a mere yard (two at most) into a touchdown twice in a row, I relinquished all hope for their win. Yeah, the scores weren't far off from one another, but the game seemed to be falling apart for New Orleans. The Indianapolis Colts are 11-1 when leading in the first half. Those are pretty outstanding numbers.

I watched The Who perform their old man half time show of songs most of us kind of know, but don't own any of the records to, while some guy next to me at the bar tried to justify their appearance at the big game. First of all, he compared them to the Rolling Stones. Um...no? Second, the Super Bowl is probably the most American thing ever. Why did the NFL get a British band to play? Daughtry would have been more appropriate. Third, they're old, and I thought it sucked. I think I'd rather watch Katy Perry lip synching while dressed as a banana. Seriously.

Major props to the Miller Lite crew who came in and gave us some cool football swag and free beers at the bar. Their personal thanks for being a Miller Lite drinker. Well, I would like to thank Nick's on Russian Hill in SF for having us, and also having $2 Miller Lites. The food is good, but you have to watch out for the bartenders who look a little worse for wear. You should really get some sleep before you go sling drinks all night. I know this from experience. And you look like shit. I don't want some hungover chick with greasy hair and bad makeup touching anything that comes near my mouth.

Okay, half time is over. Back to the game. Manning's hardware gliches, and New Orleans cornerback Tracy Porter takes the ball on a 74 yard field trip that changes everything. Suddenly the Saints are ahead, and the Colts just can't get it back together. Another turnover, and I sat there in total awe of what was happening. Manning looked to be scrambling with about three minutes left in the game. The reality was sinking in.

My friend's dad said it best. "I think Manning just shit his pants."

A great game, and proof that your whole life can change in the blink of an eye. Congratulations, New Orleans. That trophy was certainly well deserved this year.

Beer for breakfast?

For those of you who had ten too many beers yesterday while watching the super bowl, and happen to be nursing a hangover, don't feel so bad. Researchers at UC Davis released some information from their study on the benefits beer has in bone health. Out of 100 commercial beers, the study finds that a liter of beer contains about 30 grams of dietary silicon, a key player in bone health.

Although most physicians will still tell you that more than two drinks a day is just no bueno, I feel like this is another reason to add to the list of why beer is so great.

I can dig it.

So much for a sunny Super Bowl Sunday

It looks like the NFL has failed an attempt at giving the Indianapolis Colts a dry day to try and defeat the New Orleans Saints for the championship title this weekend. Southern Florida hasn't seen much sunshine in the past few days, and it doesn't look like the weather is going to let up any by the weekend.

It could just be the Indiana curse. Okay, I made that up, but have you ever been to Indiana?

Anyway, Miami isn't much of a picnic either, but I'm sure anything is an upgrade.

So, while NFL media officials scramble to have their backup plans stationed and ready to roll out, I'm just wondering how terrible the infamous Super Bowl commercials are going to be this year. With some usual big spenders cutting advertising budgets of at least 25%, and others completely off the market, that leaves a lot to imagination. With the way our national intellect seems to be dropping, I'm not expecting anything spectacular to be going down between plays this year.

If you tuned into the Grammys last night, you might understand what I mean.

I'm sure you're watching anyway though, right? I am...and I'm also secretly wishing they would have Taylor Swift playing half time instead of The Who. Just kidding...kind of.

Sick day, part un.

The one benefit of being home sick is the ability to indulge in endless amounts of recreational reading. Assuming you are up for anything other than sleeping or watching made for TV movies. I slept for most of the day, but I have finally had enough Emergen-C to do something other than zone out while looking at an LCD screen.

The brain is back on, and I have officially graduated to sitting up in bed with a laptop trying to pilfer through articles and emails in an attempt to give you something entertaining to read.

The New York Jets played a pretty decent hand this season. Aside from the occasional floundering rookie stuff, it's the best they have looked in years. Even though I went into yesterday's game believing they would not pass the Colts, I was slightly disappointed when they blew it in the second half. Oh well. Another Super Bowl that I will watch as indifferently as any other.

Congratulations to the badass Peyton Manning and his Colts, and to the New Orleans Saints as they make their first ever Super Bowl appearance. Although they only made it that far because Favre turned the ball over five too many times, and the refs blatantly made some questionable calls. But who am I to judge? All I do is get opinionated, and share it with strangers on the internet.