Papelbonding.

Jonathan Papelbon is one of my favorite baseball players. Forget that his career ERA is 2.35. Or that he fed his bulldog the ball that won the 2007 World Series.

Let's talk about this guy's RAGE. He clearly likes to party. Look at him.

I was beside myself when I learned that he was actually going to be suspended for three games for giving an old umpire a sweet chest bump during last week's game against the Oakland Athletics. Something must have been wrong for the A's to actually score enough runs to contend with the Red Sox in the first place, so I understand his frustration.

The only loyalty I have to the A's is that I used to ditch class in high school to go sit out in the $11 bleacher seats with my best friend during the occasional mid-week day game (sorry mom). No one really cares about the A's.

According to some news outlets, the MLB has also fined him an undisclosed amount for his reaction to blowing their 4-run lead in the same game.

I think someone just forgot to eat their scooby snacks that morning. Leave my Jonny Boy alone! He doesn't work well under pressure.

Papelbon & Ellsbury keep their red socks.

Apparently it only takes $12M to keep one of the most colorful pitchers in baseball on your roster. The Boston Red Sox signed a one year deal with pitcher Jonathan Papelbon, who is somewhat famous for letting his dog eat the ball that brought home the 2007 World Series win for the Sox. He can now be famous for receiving the highest paying one year contract for an arbitration eligible pitcher, and the fourth highest overall. While Papelbon had his crappiest season yet at Fenway, word has it that he has been throwing balls around in dog parks, and is looking to bring a stronger arm to the 2011 season.

Center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury also signed a one year deal, but he goes for a lot less at a mere $2.4M. That and he hasn't done anything stupid enough for me to make a joke about yet.

Papelbon pays up.

The rain man-esque closer for the Boston Red Sox, Jonathan Papelbon, has been fined for the second time this season by Major League Baseball for holding up a game. Whacky Jon (also known for allowing his bulldog to consume the winning pitch 2007 World Series ball) was fined $5,000 for taking too long to throw his first pitch. Pitchers have 12 seconds to execute after the batter steps into the box.

"After this, I don't know man. I think they're going to call my parole officer and put me away," says Papelbon.

5150, maybe.

Whiny Willy to Fenway!

The New York Mets have traded the bitching, closing pitching Billy Wagner to the Boston Red Sox to play as a set up man for the returning ace, Jonathan Papelbon, after making some very snide, on camera remarks about the world series winning pitcher. I tried to get the video, but it is apparently copyrighted by ESPN's Sportscenter, and they have better lawyers than I do, so I'm not even going there.

Papelbon explained to some that the comments were a misunderstanding, and word on the street is that Wagner has since apologized for his choice words that were something to the effect of, "tell him to have 'tommy johns' surgery at 38 and come back." Ouch.

I smell drama, and I love it!