The Giant Panda...turned pansy?

(image courtesy of the Associated Press 8/12/09)

Todays game between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the San Francisco Giants couldn't have been more reminiscent of a 1980s daytime soap opera. Managers were getting tossed, the benches cleared, players' tempers flared galore, and teams ran out of position players.

The spotlight should have been on the young lord of the bullpen, Tim Linsecum. At the start of today's game, the freak owns up to a 2.20 ERA and 198 strikeouts. I'm sure he looks even better [on paper] now.

Let's go two innings of a 0-0 standoff when Giants manager Bruce Bochy starts talking mad verb regarding an unsuccessful pickoff of The Great [and sometimes overrated] Manny Ramirez to get himself ejected from the game by the first base umpire.

Three innings later, Pablo Sandoval gets knicked by a pitch from Dodgers relieving pitcher James McDonald, and starts antagonizing and pointing fingers at the young pitcher. Words exchange between Sandoval and Dodgers catcher Russell Martin, and next thing you know, the benches are clearing. Unfortunately, no blood was shed, and everyone returned to their seats and bases.

Sandoval later walked his bitchy ass to first base to "calm down." Those were his words. No lie.

Play ball. Now Giants bench coach/acting manager Ron Wotus is ejected for talking some unnecessary guff.

The Giants busted our balls enough to score 2 runs in the 5th, forcing us to bust out all the stops, and every pitcher in our bullpen. As Linsecum continued to bend our bullpen over, we started puppeteering our players all over the field, having relieving catcher Sexy Brad Ausmus at home, moving Martin to 3rd base. There were other moves, but that one was most notable as Torre quickly realized there was no one else to play with.

We managed to score a run off the freak boy in the sixth, and another in the 9th, in an attempt to save our asses. It was only then that Linsecum was denied his 5th complete game, and pulled from the mound.

I really thought we had it there as we went into extra innings, but I was sorely mistaken.

The Dodgers went down 4-2 in the 10th by a 2 run walk off homer by Juan Uribe.

As disappointing as the loss is, that was one of the best displays of great baseball rivalry that I have ever seen.

Kudos, gentlemen!

ANDDDD...we're back!

I apologize for the long lull in keeping you in stitches. I was put on administrative leave. Or something like that.

More importantly, we're back on, and better than ever.

MLB playoffs are less than fifty games away, and our Dodgers are looking mighty fine in the NL West!

We couldn't be more thrilled to participate in such a season!

So, without further adieu, on with the show....

Tom Brady's life is better than yours.

Yeah, I read that somewhere else. Good stuff.

There's a bubble protruding from my ceiling. I can't wait to move [this weekend], and I've been slacking on the updates.

One day until the March Madness NCAA men's basketball tournament begins. I hope you have your brackets ready. I have four different pools going.

You can join one on Facebook!

http://apps.facebook.com/thebracketchallenge/?page=pool&id=88545&wclc=ba-10

That should link you to it.

Have fun, and good luck teams!

Back in action.

I had a busy weekend. I know you all missed me. Apartment hunting in Los Angeles is a bitch.

Anyway, some super highlights of the weekend. Japan kicked Korea's ass in the World Baseball Classic on Saturday, 14-2. Daisuke Matsuzaka really owned that game.

Terrell Owens is moving to Buffalo. The Bills paid T.O. $6.5 million for a one year move. Not bad.

Team USA (fuck yeah) has bromance written all over it, and it's showing in their game. They took Venezuela 15-6 after ousting Canada in their opener 6-5. The dudes play again Wednesday.

Charles Barkley is a hit in jail. I've been told that he's wandering around and handing out autographs to inmates. There will be more on this later. I'm curious.

The Louisville Cards took the NCAA men's basketball Big East championship Saturday with their win over West Virginia. I watched the game. It was edge of your seat excitement. Go Cards!

David Beckham will be back in LA to play for the Galaxy July 1st. Becks is almost 34, still looking amazing, and is still the most sought after soccer player in the land. Hot.

Cowboys cut TO

(img via theinsider.com)

After a nice run with the Dallas Cowboys, they have decided to cut Terrell Owens, but not do to his skills on the field. It was his attitude on the sidelines, in the locker room, and at practice. Who knew TO had a bad attitude and a huge ego?

Okay, I guess we all did.

Team owner Jerry Jones said yesterday of Owens' release, “we will move on now with a new team—a new attitude—and into a new stadium. The evaluation process and the prospect for change will continue at every level of the organization.”

Let's see what the Cowboys can do without him. He's been a key player for the last three years.

Apparently TO was a little stunned by the news. Sources say he was sending some nasty text messages, although he was more shocked than hurt. His website released a different statement thanking Dallas “for the opportunity to be a member of the team for the past three years.”

“A big thanks to the fans—you’ve been awesome! I look forward to the upcoming season and continuing to play in the NFL,” Owens added.

Hmmmm!

LOST.

After nearly three days of searching the Gulf of Mexico for four football players, the Coast Guard has put an end to the hunt. Only one of the four men has been found. South Florida player Nick Schuyler was found near the 21-foot boat the men had taken on a fishing trip. The boat capsized, and everyone was left at sea.

The other three men, Oakland Raiders linebacker Marquis Cooper, defensive lineman Corey Smith, and South Florida player William Bleakly, were supposedly wearing life vests when the vessel went down, but they did not remain near the boat.

Sad. Hearts to the families affected in this terrible tragedy.

No more Nomar!

(image via pe.com)

Nomar Garciaparra has reportedly signed a one year deal with the Oakland Athletics. The once super slugger will be the third oldest member of the Oakland franchise. They might have to change their name to the Oakland Fogies if they keep these pre-retirees on the roster.

The A's plan to make the official announcement this Friday.

It's [supposedly] official!

(image via ESPN.com)

According to sources, Manny Ramirez has finally signed a deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers, and is on a plane headed west to take a physical before starting spring training.

Details of the deal haven't made it to me just yet, but I'll certainly disclose the goods as soon as I get them!

Becks is going bye-bye.

(image via zimbio.com)

Sorry ladies! Are there any ladies reading this? I guess not. Perez Hilton will probably end up telling the story on the radio before you wake up anyway.

The ultimately sexy center-fielder is on his way to Italy for good. Becks will return to LA for a short period at the end of his loan term (who knew he was literally such a hot commodity?) before going back to Italy as a free agent thanks to an opt out clause at the end of his 2009 contract.

I bet Victoria is going to be pissed. I hear she likes living in la la land.

Anyway, I feel awful for the Major League Soccer execs that spent a lot of time and money to bring Sexy Becksy over here. We thank everyone who made LA Galaxy soccer more enjoyable for the female front than ever.

And for you guys who truly enjoy soccer...er, I mean, football. You don't watch the MLS anyway.

Cheers!

First of the year.

Every day gets a little more exciting for me as we creep closer to opening day. Today, I met up with some friends to watch the first televised game of the year for us Dodger fans. We played the Chicago White Sox in a pretty uneventful game. Half the time we were wondering who the hell was pitching, and I think I missed every single run scored because it was also a birthday celebration that included some non-baseball fans.

Regardless, the Dodgers took a loss 3-2 in one of the lowest spring training scores we've seen so far. I'm still just waiting for Kershaw to come out throwing gas. He's definitely not a favorite of the three in the running to be our season opener. Although that would be my choice.

Anyway, the Lakers took a loss to Shaq and his Phoenix Suns. We caught the last 2:48 of the game once we were done with baseball. Poor Kobe. He's probably crying himself to sleep.