Mic check. 1-2, 1-2.

(image courtesy of thegrio.com)

Sometimes I think that all-star athletes forgot that most professional musicians became such because they couldn't play sports. Sure, there are exceptions to that rule, but I am confident in saying that Julian Casablancas never played football. Matt Bellamy may have played tennis at some point in high school, but he looks more like he had two friends and they spent a lot of time playing guitar in a dark basement. Do not misinterpret these words. They are two of my favorite musicians. 

I find that I have to cock an eyebrow at those who suddenly cross over into music like it is some inevitable path their career must take. Gwenyth Paltrow can act just fine. She...yeah, she can act just fine. Her performance at the Oscars was pitiful. Kim Kardashian...I'm still not sure what she does, but whoever told her that she should make a record should be shot. Last night I even found out that Kevin Costner has a record out. Albeit, it's not that bad...but really?

My absolute favorite [insert sarcasm here] is when the athletes traverse into the wonderful world of entertainment. Shaq Diesel!! Barry Zito's Boy Next Door! Allen Iverson aka JewelZ!! Kobe Bryant's Visions with some song featuring the ever so lovely Tyra Banks (yet another reason, or ten, to dislike him). 

When I read today that Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers was starting a record label, I almost spit out my coffee. WHAT THE HELL IS HE GOING TO DO WITH A RECORD LABEL? I mean, really? Come on. Major labels that have been around for decades haven't even figured out a way to stay profitable in the digital age. Make like a good boy and stick to throwing around the pig skin. You're good at it and it actually makes money. Contrary to popular belief, that does not grow on trees nor does it last forever. 

End note: music might be profitable if someone put out a good record in recent days. Even Ben Gibbard can't choke out a good album anymore. He needs to get cheated on, divorced, take alcohol back up and put on a few pounds. Sorry Ben, I love you, and I am saying this with your best intentions in mind. Sometimes the truth is hard. 

End end note: athletes will always make more than musicians. Trust me. I know.

The Lakers take a beating.

Sometimes I waver with religious my beliefs, however, I think that karma always finds its way in the end. The report of Kobe Bryant exiting the arena after being defeated 104-99 by the worst team in the NBA, the Cleveland Cavaliers, without saying a single word, really made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Like, hey, you aren't the best in the world. At least not anymore. And it looks like your downfall is going to make me feel as your uprising did you.

Note: the Celtics are still killing it. Per usual. Damn the Heat, but #2 ain't bad. For now.

Being a Los Angeles native, I am really supposed to idolize this team as any other wildly retarded Angeleno would. Really. I really should. But I look at Kobe Bryant with so much disdain that I want to close my eyes and visualize Brooklyn Decker in a yellow bikini. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate Kobe as some sort of feminist. I don't look at him [every time] and think, that damn rapist. I really don't.

I look at him and think, that cocky mother f-er has to fall off of his pedestal and realize that he is just another human being at some point in time.

Oh, that time is now. Feels good, don't it?

Loving this...not believing it.

I'm reading through the sports news, the emails, and the cheap cigar adverts in my inbox today, and I come across this headline:

"Celtics looking to slow Bryant in game 2"

You might ask, is this a Craigslist ad?

Is it a joke?

As much as I dislike Kobe Bryant and his Laker lackeys, I find this to be really funny. REALLY funny. So, I click on the headline to read more. Inquiring minds want to know! There is more!

"Celtics scheme ways to overcome Kobe in game 2"

Now we're scheming!! I wonder what we're coming up with in the locker room. I'm imagining Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett heating up a kettle of tar to dump at the doorway into the court. Maybe some banana peels. Koopa shells...I could go on. You get it.

How about instead of trying to slow one man down, you try and up your entire squad's game so that they have a shot at matching this one man and all his greatness. And by that, I mean man the hell up and don't let this one crybaby take you down that easily. At least let the other four in on the fun.

In the mean time, I'm still giggling about this scheming stuff...writers these days.

And, it continues...

Remember that time I had a sports blog?! Oh, right!! Baseball season started, and I seem to have forgotten all of you. I kid, I kid.

I'm alive, and well. New digs, new computer, new boyfriend. Okay, that last part is a lie. But I did get rid of the old one. No offense to him in any way...

Moving on...let's get down to business.

The NBA finals are giving us the showdown that everyone loves and hates to see. It's probably the biggest rivalry in basketball. It's The Boston Celtics versus the Los Angeles Kobe...I mean, Lakers! We all know how I feel about Kobe Bryant and his little cronies, but what you may not know is that my father's side of the family hails from Boston, and that allows me to default my team of choice as such. Done.

In deathmatch #12 (yes, they have battled in 12 series against one another), we can look at overall numbers, or we can look at today's team. I prefer to look at the overall numbers since they make the Lakers look massively inferior. The Celtics have only lost three finals ever. Lakers, 15. Which makes a draw for them, only winning 15 titles ever. Celtics - 17 of those shiny ass rings. Yep.

This series will be fun to watch regardless of who wins. Don't forget to watch for the Kardashian clan in the audience. You know, if you're into that sort of thing. Game one starts tomorrow at 6pm PST.

May the best team -- ahem, Celtics -- win!

First of the year.

Every day gets a little more exciting for me as we creep closer to opening day. Today, I met up with some friends to watch the first televised game of the year for us Dodger fans. We played the Chicago White Sox in a pretty uneventful game. Half the time we were wondering who the hell was pitching, and I think I missed every single run scored because it was also a birthday celebration that included some non-baseball fans.

Regardless, the Dodgers took a loss 3-2 in one of the lowest spring training scores we've seen so far. I'm still just waiting for Kershaw to come out throwing gas. He's definitely not a favorite of the three in the running to be our season opener. Although that would be my choice.

Anyway, the Lakers took a loss to Shaq and his Phoenix Suns. We caught the last 2:48 of the game once we were done with baseball. Poor Kobe. He's probably crying himself to sleep.

Dear Los Angeles,

The Lakers just won. Thought you should know.

Apparently the Suns are incapable of shutting Kobe down without Steve Nash. Kobe and the rest of the yellow guys scored 70 points in the first half, and continued the beat down with a final score of 132-106.

They play tomorrow in Denver. I'm sure it won't be that exciting.